Dare 7: If You Can't Say Something Nice...

How do I communicate about my husband to others and to himself?
I really do try very hard not to "husband-bash" even when I'm around other wives who do, and it's so easy to giggle with other ladies about something funny or forgetful your husband has done.
But I do try to keep my husband built up when talking to others about him, but is it for my own pride, or because I really actually am proud of my husband?

We actually had a conversation about this not too long ago; Husband thought that I diminish him when I speak to my family.
I communicate in a way that totally leaves him uninvolved.
Eg. "I am going to call so-and-so." or "I am going to finally clean out the basement, take the baby out, etc."

There isn't much "we" in my communication, and it really hurts him that I forget that it was actually both of us that did this, or organized that.
This is something that I have challenged myself to really work on this past month, that I purposefully involve him in all decisions and stop making "I" sentences when I really do mean "we".

Today I came home from a quick visit from a family members, walked into the house and felt completely and totally overwhelmed.
Our schedule was hectic, the baby had been sick, Husband was getting sick and our tiny home felt more like a pig sty than a home.

I trudged up to the bedroom and found Husband relaxing, I told him I was feeling overwhelmed and our house was a bomb, and that I just didn't have the energy to deal with it.
He encouraged me to just relax and do it later - but I cannot relax in a messy house (I'm just built that way) and I didn't want him to help as I knew he was feeling sick.

I changed and gave myself a mental shake, this needed to get done now!

The baby was napping and now was optimal cleaning time, slowly I started chipping away at the cleaning when my dish washing was interrupted by a knock at the door; our elderly neighbour had stopped by to ask Husband if he would help her set up her internet and phone.
Even though Husband was tired, and feeling crappy he agreed right away and made plans to stop by this evening to hook up her internet.

I got back to work on the kitchen and encouraged Husband to rest, he told me he felt badly that I was working so hard while he relaxed.
In that moment I was overwhelmed and tired and grumpy, so I asked him to send off an email for me. Something menial, but something that I had avoided doing.

He was happy to do it and sent it off right away, he also just put a few things away that had been hanging around my kitchen for weeks driving me nuts that needed to be put on a top shelf.

Husband had done really, just a few little things, but even in doing those tiny things felt like he had taken a huge burden off of me.
I remembered to thank him right away and tell him how much I appreciated his help.

I had been so tempted to just buckle under the frustration and exhaustion, and feel like I had to do everything.
But I remembered this verse:

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those whose listen." 

~Ephesians 4:29 

Lord, keep my mouth from unwholesome talk, and help me to build up my husband with my words!

~ The GoodWife